I was never a runner growing up. Cross country at school filled me with mortal dread. I was never last… but I was never particularly far ahead of the last - technically asthmatic - straggler. Memories of physical education at school are not my happiest.
A marathon challenge: part 1

I remember the first time I attempted to run – voluntarily - 5 years ago. It was a beautiful, crisp day. I plunged into the fresh air and ran and ran and ran… in my head, miles ticked by. In reality, I ran for about five minutes before I keeled over with a stitch.
I’ve improved since then. I’ve crawled up hills in the Pilgrim’s Way (I mean literally crawled), I’ve fallen in bogs, I’ve slid on ice, I’ve pounded the pavements of dozens of half marathons. I’ve done most things… except a marathon.
Well why not? Because it’s torture! Actual torture. Shaun Spiers locking me in to the Iron Maiden we have casually hanging around the CPRE national office would be more efficient use of time to inflict the same amount bodily pain. In fact, I don’t know why Thomas More didn’t just make heretics run for 26.2 miles instead of stretching them on the rack. The first bloke who did it promptly dropped dead (in fairness, he had been in battle and was running with gaping wounds too).
I do half marathons and by the time I cross the finish line, I am exhausted. After my first one, I had to have a lie down whilst showering. I then fell asleep… still in the shower… and was rudely awoken to my vaguely concerned mother hammering on the bathroom door.
And that’s just a HALF marathon!
Anyway, here I am, signed up for the London Marathon 2015. Making my debut appearance on Sunday 26th April in aid of CPRE.
I’m going to keep a record of my progress. You can laugh along with me… as I cry tears of blistered agony.
If you would like to sponsor me, please visit my Just Giving page
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